Monday, January 16, 2017

Fvck you, just go


I’m not sure if you still remember me, but let me introduce myself again to you. We used to love each other before. You used to trace my spine and lighten up my world with your smile. We were perfect back then, but everything was ruined. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to win you back. I just want to exhaust the remaining things about you, inside.

You know what, I still hate you after all those years. It’s been seven years, to be exact. And every single day, I hate your existence. When there’s a time that I reminisce our past, it makes me feel sick. I don’t know what made me fell in love with you in the first place and how everything went from good to worse. You were the worst thing that ever happened to me.

I hate you for being so selfish and you let me win every argument. You ignored me and let me sunk with my own feelings. You didn’t hold my hand and stop me from leaving for that night. You just let me walk away and made me feel that you never loved me. You think only about your happiness, you never paid attention to my details. You never asked if I’m still happy, you think only about yourself.

I hate you for painting my world with your colors and made me used to love them. And now you were gone, it makes me insane because I see them every day. I tried to hide everything through smiles, but my eyes never stopped bleeding them. There’s no way I could escape because you planted flowers inside my chest and it continues to breathe your stupid name. I couldn’t breathe on my own.

I hate you for making me believe in your promises that you will stay, no matter what happens.
I hate you for being a part of my life, for scarring my heart with your love. You build walls around me with your kindest words and now that you were in love with someone else, I don’t know how to climb up, explore the world and start all over again. I’m afraid to jump on my own because you made me believe that fear won’t exist if you were here. I’m still afraid.

I hate you for making me in love with your favorite song. After seven years, it’s still playing in my head.
I hate you, let me move on.






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